And yes, you’re bound to stumble into S.D. and Jerrod making asses of themselves.

http://skullvines.com/forum/index.php

If you’re an author and you swear you’re not selfish, you’re probably lying through your teeth, maybe even having some slutty affair behind closed office doors. I truly believe you have to be selfish to be an author, especially if it’s not your full time job. It’s a bit like masturbation….no, fuck it, it is masturbation. Masturbation of the mind, my friends.

You selfish ass! How dare you masturbate your whiskers with my Oreo!

I’ve been called selfish more times than I’ve taken a shit. Maybe that’s why I’m a publisher, too, to offset that tainted trait, to forever be in denial about being selfish. When I’m in my office, I’m writing, goddamn it!! Yeah, right. I should be. Half the time I seem to be drunk Skyping, drunk calling Blogtalkradio, and let’s see…drunk blogging? But that’s writing, isn’t it?

This particular blogger is a gangbanger. Note the red do-rag, blue Starter jacket, and bicep flex. Note the stolen laptop in the background. Sheisty bitch.

Selfish is scraping clean the mashed potatoes pan at a buffet so the guy behind you has to wait for the replacement. Selfish is grabbing the last milk carton from a pregnant woman at a market.

Sun, you are a selfish bastard!! Now moon me!

In closing, there is productive selfishness (such as writing professionally) and there is unproductive selfishness (such as getting pussy while working as a part-time parking attendant while claiming to be a full-time writer).

So all you authors out there, be motherfucking selfish, goddamn it!!

This pig juice will make me write more intelligently!

FEAR THE WOODS by Jerrod Balzer is now available as an ebook at Darkside Digital

 https://www.horror-mall.com/darksidedigital/product.php?productid=19887&cat=403&page=1

Here’s the official book trailer for ZOMBIE BASTARD by Jerrod Balzer, due out in December 2009 by Novello Publishers.

Here’s a nice recent review of the collection by Kevin Lucia from SHROUD MAGAZINE:

……………..

Theatre of the Macabre, (Skullvines Press), by Roy C. Booth

            From the internationally award-winning playwright who brought Brian Keene’s “Terminal” to the stage comes a trilogy of one-act plays perfect for the late October chill. In “Theatre of the Macbre”, Roy C. Booth offers chills, thrills, and spots of humor and cynicism as well.  Even in one acts, these tales are quick, tasty bites that will leave a shiver under your skin long after you’ve read them.

            In “Smoking Will Kill You”, cruel irony deals an appropriate hand to an arrogant, dismissive psychiatrist and his scheming wife. In “He Who Gets Laughed At Last”, a pompous comedian with no real talent goes to extreme measures to get a laugh, only to discover the last one is on him…forever.  Perhaps the best, most satisfying tale is found in “Death Under Gaslight”, where three robbers get more than they bargained for, and a classic, Gothic character plays a pivotal role. 

            Pick up this collection and enjoy the laughs, screams, and cries…if you dare.

            Visit http://skullvines.com?page_id=538.  Buy it today.

If you haven’t checked this out, it should get you in the Halloween mood. And it’s available free on iTunes.

A Halloween Spoken Word Spectacular with stories by Rob Callahan, MontiLee Stormer, Allegra Lingo, Jerrod Balzer, S. D. Hintz, Rich Ristow, Wonder Dave and Mark McLaughlin. This podcast contains mature and not so mature content. Younger listeners are advised to keep it well-hidden from their parents.

Check it out for free here: http://www.robcallahan.com/nightmarefuel/